Round 75 - Lean Into Discomfort
- Paul Pantani
- Jun 12
- 12 min read
Transition is not a clean break. It does not arrive with a countdown or tie itself neatly to your retirement ceremony. Whether you are a soldier, police officer, firefighter, sailor, airmen, marine, or any other first responder, the shift from uniformed service to civilian life often begins long before your last day. And one of the clearest indicators that you are preparing the right way is how willing you are to lean into discomfort.
In this week’s Round 75 of the Tactical Transition Tips, on the Transition Drill Podcast, we address Lean Into Discomfort. In your military or law enforcement career, discomfort was built into the mission. You trained in the rain, ran on bad knees, handled calls with little sleep. But the discomfort of transition is different. It is emotional. It is uncertain. It hits your identity, not just your schedule.
This week’s three transitioning tips are:
Close Range Group: Build Rejection Resilience
Medium Range Group: Get Performance Feedback You’re Afraid to Hear
Long Range Group: Do a “No Help” Week Once a Quarter
Transition is not simply about changing jobs. It is about shedding layers of familiarity and stepping into new roles where your uniform or rank no longer opens doors. This blog dives into the real, uncomfortable work of preparing for the next chapter. From job rejections to difficult feedback to stripping away your usual systems, each tip is designed to push military veterans and first responders toward personal growth. This is not about pain for its own sake. It is about getting sharper, smarter, and more self-aware. Because discomfort, when embraced, becomes your edge.
LISTEN TO THE EPISODE
Close Range Group: Build Rejection Resilience
If you’re nearing the end of your service, this season of life can feel like you’re walking a tightrope without a safety net. You’ve spent years, maybe decades, knowing your role, your value, your identity. Now, every resume sent feels like a lottery ticket, every interview a high-stakes test. But there’s one truth you need to absorb early and often; rejection is not your enemy. It’s your training ground.
The discomfort of hearing “no” from employers is real. It cuts deeper than many expect, especially for those who are used to winning, leading, or having their name carry weight. But rejection, when handled with intention, becomes one of the best tools in your transition toolbox. Think of it like a new kind of drill, one designed to strengthen your emotional muscles rather than your physical ones.
Start by applying for 10 jobs with full knowledge that some of those applications will go nowhere. It might feel counterproductive, like setting yourself up to fail. But in truth, you’re setting yourself up to grow. Each “no” becomes a rep in the gym of resilience. It desensitizes the ego and rewires your brain to respond with clarity rather than collapse.
Desensitize the Ego
This isn’t about developing a thick skin. It’s about developing an accurate lens. Many military veterans and first responders tie their self-worth to their last role. A police officer may see rejection as an insult to their integrity. A marine might take it as a dismissal of their discipline. But the hiring process in the civilian world rarely works that cleanly. Sometimes you’re not a fit for the position. Sometimes the employer doesn’t even review your application. None of that defines your worth.
By facing rejection without retreating, you train yourself to separate identity from outcome. You begin to see yourself not as a title but as a value proposition—a unique blend of experience, skill, and adaptability that grows more defined with each response, even the negative ones.
Redefine Rejection as Feedback
One of the hardest mental shifts for veterans is this: a job rejection is not personal. It is not a condemnation. It is data. Each time you hear a no, take a breath and evaluate the possible message behind it. Was your resume too focused on acronyms and military terminology? Did your interview feel flat or too formal? Were your salary expectations out of sync with the role?
Start journaling after each application or interview. Track what felt strong and what could be improved. Review your resume with a civilian mentor or a recruiter who specializes in military transition. Use each rejection as a breadcrumb trail that helps you recalibrate.
Reframe “No” as “Not Yet”
If you’re applying to meaningful roles, then rejection isn’t evidence of failure. It is proof that you are competing. Sitting on the sidelines would feel safe, but it is also the surest way to stall out. The discomfort of being turned down reminds you that you are moving, that you are engaged in the process.
This mindset shift keeps you from spiraling into doubt. A veteran who internalizes a rejection as a signal that they are unqualified or unworthy might hesitate to apply again. But a veteran who sees “no” as “not yet” stays in the game, sharpens their approach, and keeps building momentum.
Normalize the Numbers Game
This one is simple and brutal: applying for one or two jobs a week is not enough. Civilian hiring is often messy, delayed, and impersonal. High performers in transition know that securing a new role can take 50, 75, even 100 applications. That does not mean you are broken. It means the system is built for volume.
Remove the emotional weight from any single application. Keep a spreadsheet. Track the positions, companies, responses, and follow-ups. When the numbers grow, so does your objectivity. You stop waiting for one employer to validate you and start focusing on building leverage.
Shift Focus from Control to Influence
You cannot control who an employer hires. You cannot force a callback. But you can control how polished your resume is, how well you prepare for interviews, and how consistently you follow up. In other words, you control your level of professionalism.
This distinction matters. Veterans and first responders often come from command-driven environments where results follow orders. Civilian life demands influence instead of authority. Practicing that shift now prepares you for a workplace where your performance matters more than your rank.
Facing the Resistance
Many in the close range group hesitate to pursue this kind of repeated exposure to rejection. It feels demoralizing. You’ve spent a career being respected. Now you’re treated like a faceless applicant. The fear of looking weak, of admitting that the process stings, can lead to hesitation or total avoidance.
But leaning into this discomfort is exactly how you regain your footing. It builds your emotional callus. It removes the illusion that transition should be smooth. Most of all, it gives you agency. You are not just enduring this process, you are mastering it.
WATCH THE EPISODE
Medium Range Group: Get Performance Feedback You’re Afraid to Hear
If you are five or so years away from your military or first responder transition, you may feel like there is still plenty of time. You are not wrong, but the trap is believing that time equals preparedness. The most dangerous assumption is that leadership, influence, and identity will just transfer smoothly when the uniform comes off. They won’t. That transfer must be built intentionally and it starts with something few professionals are willing to do, seek out the hard truth about how others experience you.
Asking for honest feedback, especially feedback you suspect might sting, is uncomfortable. That discomfort is the point. When you learn to lean into feedback now, you do more than grow as a leader. You begin shaping the version of yourself that will walk into your next career.
Right now, you’re in the middle space. You are still active, still trusted, still carrying weight in your unit, shift, or team. But the question is no longer just about how well you perform today. It is about what legacy you leave and how you prepare your replacement to take the reins. Growth now is about stewardship of knowledge, culture, and leadership values that will remain long after you clock out for the last time.
Break the Echo Chamber
Over time, we all build environments that reflect us. Your team may respect you, but they might also avoid telling you what needs to change. If you are a strong performer or someone with rank, people often default to flattery or silence. That creates an echo chamber, one that blinds you to areas that need refinement.
Breaking that chamber is vital. The way others experience your leadership today is a strong indicator of how future teams will respond to you in civilian roles. Ask the people who work beside you, not just those who report to you. Ask your peers and subordinates: “What is something I do that makes the job harder for others?” Then listen without excuse.
This feedback won’t just benefit your transition. It improves how you operate now. It makes you more approachable. It sharpens your team’s efficiency. And most importantly, it models vulnerability in a way that gives others permission to grow too.
Use Specific, Targeted Questions
The problem with asking “How am I doing?” is that it invites vague or polite answers. You’re not looking for compliments. You are searching for blind spots. Ask questions that dig beneath the surface: “What is one habit I have that frustrates people?” or “What’s something I need to unlearn before I take on a bigger role?”
These targeted questions force others to move past surface-level flattery. They also signal that you are serious about growing. When people see you pursuing discomfort in service of development, they are more likely to follow your example. This matters now and will matter even more when your leadership is no longer tied to a title but to trust and influence.
Rehearse Emotional Control
Feedback can be triggering. Even well-intentioned criticism might feel like a personal attack. But every veteran and first responder knows what it means to stay composed under pressure. This is just a new version of that training. Learn to receive critique without explaining it away or retreating into silence.
Rehearsing emotional discipline in these moments is not about faking calm. It is about building real control. The kind of composure that translates directly to high-stakes civilian interviews, difficult conversations, and unfamiliar organizational cultures. Your ability to stay poised when challenged will define your credibility in life after service.
Document and Reflect, Don’t Defend
Your instinct might be to immediately respond to criticism with an explanation. Resist that urge. Instead, write it down. Sit with it for a day. Ask yourself why it hurt. Often, the sting points directly to a growth opportunity. That moment of pause is where maturity is built.
The practice of reflection becomes a habit that benefits both present and future roles. As a firefighter, soldier, marine, or police officer, documenting what others see in you can create a powerful record of change. It becomes your own leadership journal. Proof that you have evolved and that your leadership is intentional, not accidental.
Turn Feedback into a Leadership Development Plan
Do not let feedback die in your inbox or notebook. Pick two or three consistent themes and build a plan around them. Maybe you need to delegate more. Maybe your tone under stress needs attention. Maybe you need to mentor others more intentionally. Create a 90-day plan. Set observable goals. Track progress.
This plan isn’t for performance reviews. It is for you. It is the foundation of your next leadership chapter. Employers hiring military veterans and first responders are not just looking for titles. They are looking for people who grow on purpose and know how to build others.
Why It Matters Now and Later
In today’s role, this process makes you more effective. It clears friction within your team. It earns trust. It prepares those who will carry on after you leave. But it also becomes part of your professional DNA. Proof that your leadership is not stuck in rank, but rooted in self-awareness.
In transition, this work pays off even more. When interviewers ask about your leadership, you will speak from recent, reflective action. You will have examples of how you responded to critique, how you mentored others, how you evolved. That is gold in a hiring conversation. That is the difference between reciting a resume and telling a leadership story.
THIS WEEK'S GUEST INTERVIEW
Long Range Group: Do a “No Help” Week Once a Quarter
When you’re early in your career or a decade or more out from retirement, it’s easy to fall into a rhythm. The structure is familiar, your identity feels solid, and there’s a quiet sense that time is on your side. But if military veterans and first responders know anything, it’s that life does not always wait for a plan. Whether you’re a marine, firefighter, police officer, or airmen, transitions don’t always happen when you choose them. They can be sudden. They can be forced. They can be unexpected.
That’s why the smartest long-term strategy you can adopt is building habits now that make you more adaptable, less reliant on rank, and better prepared to perform without the comfort of support systems. One of the most effective ways to do that is deceptively simple, go one week each quarter without leaning on your usual authority, systems, or professional shortcuts. Strip it all away and see what remains.
We call it a “No Help” Week. And it is one of the most honest mirrors you can hold up to your current capabilities.
Simulate the Loss of Authority
Start by acting as if your title disappeared. No more using rank to gain cooperation. No dropping your position to sway a conversation or command action. Communicate. Influence. Collaborate. Lead with clarity and humility instead of hierarchy.
This is not about creating artificial difficulty. It is about revealing how much of your current success is tied to your positional power. Civilian life will not care about your patches or years of service. It will care about how clearly you can communicate and how effectively you can drive results without leaning on authority. Practicing that now gives you a competitive edge later. More importantly, it makes you a more grounded leader today.
More Observing, Less Talking
One of the hidden gifts of stepping back is seeing how your team, squad, or unit functions without your input. Take a week to intentionally say less. Stop correcting every small error. Stop interrupting with better ideas. Observe what happens without your hand on the wheel.
This helps you gauge the depth of your team’s competence and initiative. It also reveals whether your leadership has empowered others or simply directed them. The best test of leadership is not how well people perform under your supervision, it’s how they perform in your absence.
Understanding these patterns is not just useful for the future. It allows you to course-correct your mentorship and delegation strategies today. It helps you identify who needs development and who is ready to step up. And if something were to take you off the job tomorrow, you can walk away knowing you prepared others to lead.
Operate Without Your Network
In service roles, your network often makes things easier. You know who to call, what door to knock on, or how to escalate a problem. But try navigating a week without any of that. Don’t ask for favors. Don’t call in past relationships to move things forward. Solve problems like someone brand new to the profession.
It will feel slower. You might feel exposed. That’s the point. The moment you realize how much you rely on your relationships to operate, you also realize how vulnerable you might be if they disappeared. Learning to function independently now adds self-sufficiency to your leadership toolkit. And that capability makes you even more valuable when your network is restored.
Replace Systems with Creativity
Every workplace leans on routines. Military veterans and first responders often excel in these environments because they understand systems and structure. But structure can also create complacency. During your “No Help” Week, pick a workflow or system you depend on—and ignore it. Find a new way to reach the same goal using only your resourcefulness.
Why does this matter? Because your future workplace might not run on checklists or doctrine. It may require creative solutions where standard procedures do not exist. By forcing yourself to adapt now, you strengthen your problem-solving skills and reduce your dependence on institutional thinking. That benefits your career today by keeping your thinking sharp and flexible. And it sets the groundwork for life after service where you may have to build processes from scratch.
Make a Note of Every Constraint
Keep a running list during the week. Every time you think, “I wish I had this tool, this person, this system,” write it down. These are your hidden dependencies. They are not weaknesses, but they are signals. They tell you where your current success leans heavily on external supports instead of internal capability.
This insight benefits your present role more than you might realize. It helps you plan better. It helps you train others more effectively. And it lets you slowly start replacing dependency with design, choosing how you lead, rather than reacting to your environment.
Why This Matters Today
You are not preparing for transition tomorrow because you expect it. You are preparing because being prepared is part of professional excellence. You’re still in the job, and your role still matters. This practice makes you sharper right now. It reveals blind spots. It gives you a broader skillset. It ensures that if something changed tomorrow, you would be ready. Not scrambling.
But perhaps most important, it reminds you of this, your career is not your identity. When the uniform comes off, the systems go away, and the shortcuts disappear, the only thing left is you. Strengthening that version now is the most important long-range preparation you can make.
VIEW OUR MOST RECENT
 |  |  |  |
